


Goodbye, Mother

by Dulin



Series: Thirty Kisses [8]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Endless Waltz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 04:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4248549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dulin/pseuds/Dulin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quatre goes to visit his mother's grave and talk to her about someone special to him</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye, Mother

**Author's Note:**

> Challenge #11 in the LJ Thirty Kisses Challenge.  
> Theme : gardenia
> 
> The song is Let It Be by the Beatles

_When I find myself in times of trouble_

_Mother Mary comes to me_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be._

 

I walk carefully between the graves, clutching the flowers to my chest. Their scent is so sweet that it’s almost sickening. I even catch myself wondering if that is what death smells like. Which is stupid, I’ve been around death enough times to know that. But there is like an unspoken promise of decay in that smell, of an end coming soon.

I don’t turn around as I reach my destination. This moment is for me alone, and he knows it. He came with me because he knows I will need him afterwards, but he’s leaving my ghosts to me. Like I’m leaving his ghosts to him.

There are twin slabs where I remember only one. I know the second grave is empty, there was nothing left of my father to bury after all. But the stone bearing his name is here. I don’t know which of my sisters decided to have it erected, I never asked.

I sit down on the grass. The very existence of this graveyard, private or not, is a heresy on a colony. We barely have enough space, air and resources to accommodate the living, so you would think we wouldn’t waste it all on the dead. But it was a family tradition for us to have our people buried near their house. And since our house has been here on that colony for almost a century, this is where my parents are.

“Hello, Mother,” I say weakly, my fingers tracing the familiar characters engraved on the stone. I gingerly put the white, heavily perfumed flowers down on the grave.

“I’m sorry not to have come sooner,” I keep on. “There have been many things going on, you know. A war. Two, even.”

I swallow, a bit choked by the scent of the flowers.

“I brought you your favorite flowers, Mother. I remember Father saying you loved gardenias. You had some in you hair on your wedding picture, and they looked great on you. I … well, I am not really sure I do like them, but I wanted to give you something that you would love.”

This time, I look behind. Heero is standing under a tree at the entrance of the grounds. He’s not looking my way, he’s leaning on the tree with his hands in his pockets. Just waiting. Waiting for me.

“I don’t know if I will be back here soon, Mother. I … I have met someone, you see. I don’t think you would approve of him. Yes, it’s a ‘him’, I hope you’re not too shocked, but … he’s different, Mother. When he looks at me, he really sees me. And this is what I want for myself. That, and there are too many painful memories in that house for me. So I’m leaving.”

I let a small silence stretch. My stomach feels all queasy, somehow. Maybe I should have had something to eat.

“I will miss you,” I whisper. “I really do, every minute of the day, I miss you.”

I shoot a look at the other slab, the one bearing my father’s name.

“And I miss you too,” I add. “But I simply can’t go on like that. I need to go. I hope to find the strength to come back and see you, one day.”

I kiss my fingers, then touch my father’s slab. Then I do the same with my mother’s slab. That one actually bears a trace in the middle from the many times I’ve done that before. The only kisses I ever could give to my mother, through that cold marble stone.

“Goodbye, Mother.”

As I stand up, I feel a cold wind embrace me, and I can’t help the tear rolling down my cheek. I leave without looking back, the only trace of my presence being the lovely white flowers who exhale their perfume into the air.

 

_And when the night is clouded there is_

_Still a light that shines on me_

_Shine on till the morrow, let it be_


End file.
